One year of breastfeeding

One year has passed since my Pipsqueak made her unbelievably calm entrance into the world. It was so surreal how easy my labor and delivery was, and after she was born she just calmly laid on me and stared into my eyes. It was a perfect moment in time. A moment I will cherish forever. 

(9lbs 2oz of pure joy)

I’m not sure I anticipated how much this child could and would change me. Or how different it is having a baby as an adult versus as a teenager. Or just having a baby as well as a smart phone (obsessive Googler alert). Either way this past year has been one hell of a learning experience and one of the best of my life. 

The biggest concern/obsession/activity/learning experience/life changing event of her first year has been breastfeeding her. I would say that nursing came relatively naturally to us. Her first latch was a great one! She nursed for an hour straight within minutes of her being born. I can still remember the fuss my nurse made about how much she peed in just a few hours. Her name was Gia, and she reassured me what a great job I was doing and she said that we would be successful. It’s amazing how much being given even the slightest amount of confidence that early can stick with you. 

I was super lucky that I didn’t experience any of the dreaded cracking and bleeding that you hear so much about. I was sore for a few days and that was it. Thank God, because she nursed 24/7! Not exaggerating. I truly didn’t prepare myself for how much she was going to want to breastfeed. My husband was a saint! He took care of everything, even cutting my food up so I could eat with the one hand that wasn’t trapped under Penelope. 

It wasn’t until Penelope was one month old that we hit our next hurdle. She was very fussy, congested, gassy and spit up all the time. She had an intolerance to the dairy that I was eating. And I was consuming A LOT of dairy! But at this point I was 10,000% committed, I was going to do whatever it takes to make it work. I went completely dairy-free for 6 months. That was a dairy-free thanksgiving and Christmas. 😳 I’m still looking forward to rubbing that fact in her face when she’s older and won’t clean her room! 

This was my original goal, one year with no formula. We did it! And when I look at her and see how healthy and happy she is I know that every struggle was worth it. The bond that it has created between us is remarkable. I am her calm, her comfort, her safe place. 

I won’t attempt to wean her until she’s two. Think it’s weird? Educate yourself Here. Im hoping that she self weans, but  not holding my breath. She’s a boobie baby through and through. 

Happy World Breastfeeding Week 2016! 

Breastmilk: It Cures What Ails Ya

The more I learn about breastmilk and breastfeeding the more in awe I am at the human body. Not only did my body grow a person, at 10 months old it continues to sustain that person. Breastmilk is the perfect food for a baby, it has everything that she needs. Literally everything! It’s food, water, medicine, a multivitamin and so much more! 

It wasn’t until recently that I needed to start looking for other uses for breastmilk. I spent the first 5 months of Penelope’s life diligently pumping and freezing breastmilk. Only to find out she refused to take a bottle. So now I have a few hundred ounces of breastmilk that’s past its “use by” date that I can not bring myself to dump. This is me refusing to waste all of that liquid gold! 

I wanted to donate it. But as I mentioned a few post back, I’m on an antidepressant. That unfortunately disqualified my milk for donation. 

Breastmilk is loaded with antibodies, vitamins, immunological compounds, anti inflammatory properties and so so much more. But because these are present it can help clear up eczema, acne, pinkeye, ear infections, congestion, small cuts and burns, bug bites, diaper rash…. You get the point. It’s good stuff! 

I recently had my first opportunity to test this, Penelope had her very first diaper rash. It was a minor rash so I said “what the hey”! Right before bed I applied some milk, let it air dry and put on a diaper. In the morning it was completely gone! Gone! 

That was all the convincing it took! So when Roxanne got a mystery rash on the back of her neck I tried it again! 

She said that it completely stopped the itching and it’s barely visible. 

I didn’t think I could be more amazed with my own body and its ability to care for my children. I truly hope that I never stop being amazed. 

 So I guess that this is this story about how I’m slowly transforming into this guy 

Baby wearing/ ring sling review

     

Let’s talk about baby wearing for a minute. 

Not only does it make my attachment parenting loving soul sing, it actually benefits your baby! Especially newborns. it keeps them close to you (duh) but that means that your baby will cry less. Wearing your baby a few hours a day can decrease crying up to 50%!

 It helps keep babies in a calm alert state, which is the perfect environment for brain development. 

Being close to you regulates baby’s body temperature and breathing, and stimulates breastmilk production (for you moms having supply issues). 

And you get to keep your baby close and happy while also having your hands free! 

I have had a really hard time finding a baby carrier that doesn’t kill my back. I’ve had issues with my lower back for as long as I can remember. 

I’ve tried a stretchy wrap, I loved it, but it was too much of a hassle. 

I’ve tried a basic inexpensive structured carrier, just to see if I liked it before I spent any money on an upgrade. 

Then I got an Ergo, I really did love it but after about 15 minutes my back hurt so badly that I had to take it off. It also had way too many buckles. 

So when Mamaway offered to send me a ring sling for review I was so excited! In theory it offers a solution to every problem that I’ve encountered so far with baby wearing. Convenience and no strain on my lower back. 

I received my carrier in the mail yesterday. The packaging is sturdy and better quality than I was expecting. 

It didn’t come with any instructions, they really should include some kind of pamphlet. I had to find videos on YouTube to figure out how to put it on. The first time I tried was a disaster, It hurt my shoulder and Penelope seemed uncomfortable. It just didn’t feel right. So I started over and got it without any problems.

That’s a happy baby! 

I was able to wear it for about an hour without any discomfort. Another plus of a ring sling is that once you have it adjusted the way that fits you and your baby, you don’t have to undo it to take it off. Just slip it over your head and it’s still good to go for the next time!

The quality is good for the price and they offer plenty of colors and prints. You can buy one Here. 

Disclaimer: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

Breastfeeding Hypocrisy

I have been seeing so many comments across social media condemning breastfeeding mothers. 

“Why is it so difficult to just Put a blanket over your baby?” 

“Have some decency and cover yourself!”

“This isn’t Africa, be civilized!”

“Can’t you do that in a bathroom?”

“Peeing is natural, so can I just pee in the middle of a restaurant?”

“Just pump before you leave and bottle feed!” 

I have so many issues with these statements. I could go through and write entire posts about what is wrong with them individually, but I’m not going to. Simply because it wouldn’t accomplish anything. People who think this way are either selfish or ignorant. They think that their comfort trumps the comfort of everyone else, Including the baby. 

But if you take a look at our society it would appear that the baby is the problem. No one takes issue with every magazine having a half naked women on the cover. No one seems to care that a woman’s body can be used to sell everything from cars to cheeseburgers. 

No one seems to care or become uncomfortable with breasts until a woman uses them for their biological purpose. Ya know, feeding a baby! Put a bottle of perfume in between completely exposed boobs? Sure!! Feed a baby? Ugh have some decency and cover yourself up! 

Am I the only one who can’t stand the hypocrisy? 

I am guilty of letting the opinions (or potential negative opinions) of others prevent me from feeding Penelope in public. She hates covers, she will scream until she’s uncovered all the while flailing about trying to get the blanket off of her head. So I usually go to the car and that’s super inconvenient! I actually just got the nerve to feed her openly and uncovered in a restaurant a few weeks back. She’s 9 months old. And guess what happened… Nothing! No one noticed. But you better believe I had a speech ready in the event I was confronted! 

My point is that it shouldn’t be such a big deal to do something so biologically normal and natural and beautiful! I should be able to feed my baby in the way I’m most comfortable without fear. 

That’s my goal for future breastfeeding mothers, and it’s my duty to help advocate and support however I can. If that means I have to step out of my comfort zone to ensure that future moms won’t have to, so be it! The more it’s seen the more normal it becomes. 

This is not one of these issues that will just go away with time. Babies will always need to be fed, and I truly hope that one day all women can feel confident enough to feed their children however they’re comfortable. Whether it’s covered, uncovered, with a bottle, in the car… Whatever it is you do make sure it’s because it’s what you want. Not because it’s what you think others want you to do.   

You’re protected by law to nurse your child! Know your rights. 

Everywhere I look I see hypocrisy associated with breastfeeding. Somewhere along the way formula and breastfeeding started being compared too closely. Being held to the same standards (scheduled feedings, supplementing with vitamins and rice cereal, stopping at age one). They’re not the same. Formula is a wonderful invention that can and has saved lives, but it’s not breastmilk. 

I guess my frustration stems from people that have been given incorrect information for generations. I think it’s time to stop the spread of misinformation. Educate yourself before you judge others. Don’t assume that your experience is/should be the same as everyone’s. 

And if you find that you’re uncomfortable with a woman breastfeeding her child, instead of condemning her ask yourself why you’re uncomfortable. Because she’s not the problem. 

Nurse on, Mamas! 

Get this shirt Here

Being a Mom With Mental Illness

A few weeks ago I was talking to my therapist when she pointed out how often I apologize for things that I have no control over. She said that she consistently sees that behavior in adult children of an alcoholic parent (which I am), and when I really thought about it all of my sisters do it too. It made total sense to me! It was one of those “that explains a lot” moments.

 So when I was discussing this with my husband the next day I had a thought, will MY mental illness make my children victims of their childhood? Am I screwing them up by being so screwed up? My husband reassured me that my problems are being managed and I’m not causing irreversible damage to our kids. But I can’t help but think about how this will affect the rest of their lives. What weird side effects will they be left with?  

Depression makes me feel irritable and lethargic and anxiety makes me feel constantly terrified, uneasy and like the world is out to get me. Every thing feels chaotic and impossibly hard. That’s not everyday anymore, thank God, but I do still have bad days. When I’m having a bad day the world doesn’t stop. My day to day responsibilities don’t just disappear. So my children get a front row seat. 

I honestly believe that I’m doing my best, and that’s all I can do. I have open and honest discussions with Roxanne about my mental illness. I feel if she understands it, that it will somehow lessen the blow. 

I wish I had more advice or insight to lend to those who are struggling. But the best I can give is to be honest with yourself. Seek help before it becomes unmanageable, I didn’t seek help for years and ended up being hospitalized. I was forced into getting the help that I needed. There is never anything wrong with asking for help. That’s something I have always struggled with. If I were a character in a sitcom my catch phrase would be “I got it!”. But the best thing I’ve ever done for myself and my family was admit that I didn’t have it. 

What I’ve found helps me the most in my recovery is having a constant goal that I’m working towards. If I’m actively working to better my life it’s harder to fall into old habits and destructive behavior. My long term goal when I first got help was to eventually have a baby. My husband and I knew that we wanted a child together, but we also knew that I had a lot of work ahead of me before I was ready. So I started walking every day and lost 20 pounds. I went to therapy every week, I never missed a dose of my medication. Finally I quit smoking cigarettes! 

It was then that my husband and I decided that I was healthy enough to get pregnant. So I talked to my psychiatrist to make sure she thought I was ready and to make sure my medicine was safe to continue during pregnancy. She gave me the go ahead! 

We got pregnant immediately, it seriously happened so fast! Now we have a healthy baby girl. She was my goal, my light at the end of a proverbial tunnel. 

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